Great to see you here!
Perhaps you are here because you have experienced burnout? Perhaps you are going through it right now? Or maybe you fear having to go through it?
Whichever the reason may be, I think we all need strong coping skills for burnout. I have experienced burnout in high school, and to be honest with you, my toxic productivity did me no good. I felt miserable. I think it is the lie we tell ourselves that workaholism is healthy that keeps us from stepping out of this toxic productivity phase.
Before jumping into the tips, let’s start with identifying what signs to watch out for. They may not be the only ones but could be potential indicators. Keep in mind there are multiple signs and no one sign is an accurate predictor:
1. You feel drained by the amount of work you need to get done.
2. You want to do more, but your body is not letting you (physically, mentally, or emotionally)
3. Your relationships with others around you feel disconnected or are starting to break.
4. You feel like you are giving, but not getting anything in return. It feels like everyone is taking advantage of you.
5. You’re unable to juggle all the tasks you have. Managing time is a struggle.
6. You don’t get time to take care of your body.
7. You go through episodes of extreme stress and anxiety, and you tend to internalize those feelings.
8. Conversations do not go the way you want them to, often turning into triggers for you. You are distressed and find no one can be of help.
9. Your self-esteem feels shattered, and you are always comparing yourself to others.
10. You do not feel like you ever give yourself a break. You want to do so much more than this.
11. You are constantly thinking.
12. You struggle to understand why others cannot understand you.
These signs are very generic, and I understand the sentiment. Before starting, I want to draw a clear line between burnout and mental illness. Both could benefit from psychotherapy, but the latter is more in need of professional help (perhaps even pharmacological therapy in the form of antidepressants). If you feel your mental health is continuously declining, please seek professional help for it.
So, what are ways we can cope with burnout?
Burnout is not a disease to treat. It is a phase of toxic productivity and is manifested by an inability to manage time effectively and take care of your body’s needs. Burnout simply said, is doing more than you are capable of. Giving more than you have. If you don’t have chocolate, you can’t give it to another person. That’s burnout. Giving love when you don’t have it; it’s exactly why our relationships feel like they’re draining us, not receiving that love in return. As these feelings are internalized, they become more and more emotionally vulnerable and hence burst suddenly. Let me give you the analogy of a balloon, if you fill it up with too much air, it is eventually going to pop. Similarly, here, internalization of these feelings inevitably turns into an emotional burst one day. Next, burnout is a sign of bad time management. I think this stems from a lack of prioritization. In layman terms, we don’t really know who we are. In a world that says, “go go go”, it can be a struggle to make sense of what we want and what we don’t want. We don’t really know our values and where they stand. To achieve in one aspect of life, you’re going to have to sacrifice another. To succeed in your career, you might have to sacrifice free time to watch TV shows. To succeed in your family life, you might have to sacrifice some parts of your career. Ultimately, there is no right or wrong. It’s what you value. So, ask yourself this question, what is the most valuable thing to you in this world? Why? You might have no answer to this question and that is okay. This is what calls for reflection. To truly know yourself is to understand what you attach yourself to most, whether it is a healthy or an unhealthy attachment. Some of us may have a toxic attachment to productivity, perhaps to our careers, others may be attached to people or certain relationships. Second step identify the toxic attachments of your life. What do you think about constantly? What do you fear losing most in life? What do you feel will determine your success? Third, identify why you might be attached to these. Do you fear losing this? Does having this make you feel successful? Do you find nothing to love, but this? A lot of the toxicity in our life roots from an unhealthy attachment to things, ideas, or people. We let these things/ideas/people enter our hearts and settle making us dependent on their existence, like an addiction.
Let’s move the conversation in a slightly different direction. I want to discuss the center of our attachments and touch upon the spiritual importance of it. The heart, an organ that beats 70 times in a minute needs one type of love – Divine. Your heart is a space for God. Keep God at the center of this, and you will never find yourself forming a toxic attachment. I know this is easier said than done. However, this is an important realization that will allow us to move away from the toxic attachments of our life. Your five daily prayers are there for just that, to re-center you on your purpose in this life. To bring us back to the first point, ask yourself the same question in a different way; who is the person that you want to become (does not have to be a real person)? Who do you envision yourself as tomorrow? It could be a writer, an athlete, a doctor or maybe all three. Whatever it is, think about the habits this person embodies. For example, to publish a book, you are going to have to act like a writer. To lose weight, you’re going to have to become an athlete. Once you’ve identified this, ask yourself why? This is when we consider healthy attachments. For example, I want to become a doctor to serve my community for the sake of God. To want something in life, you’re going to have to know why. The WHY needs to be powerful enough to take you on this journey. Your ambition for this needs to be aggressive, and your goals have to be broad. BUT WAIT…what does this have anything to do with burnout?
Once you recognize your values, you’ll be able to prioritize effectively and efficiently. You’ll be able to allocate time to things that matter. Time management is an important skill, but without knowing your values, your why and yourself, you won’t know what to make of it. If family is at the top, you’ll be able to make time for it despite medical school. Why? It’s an important value. Your values shape your identity, and your routines are a reflection of it. Who you want to become is reflected in your daily habits. For this, discipline is key, and I recommend reading Atomic Habits to gain a better understanding of this concept. So let’s summarize what we’ve learned thus far:
Cause of Burnout: You are giving what you don’t have.
Steps to cope and understand your burnout phase:
1. Identify your toxic attachments.
2. Re-center your heart to divine love
3. Reflect on your values and who you want to become.
4. Create a routine to help yourself become that person.
The last tip, give yourself what you want to give others first. I mean this very loosely. It is not meant to be narcissistic; it is meant to create an understanding of taking care of your body’s needs. The reason you are not getting work done may not be because you do not have time, but that you have slept for 3 hours last night surviving on coffee. The reason you find yourself not having time for family is not because you are too busy but that you do not know how to prioritize and manage your time. Being “busy” is not a sign of success, it is a sign of inefficiency and poor prioritization. Busy does not equal successful. It is quite wrong to think that being productive 24/7 is the way to get through life. Our generation has become obsessed with this measure of time. To make the most of it, people forget that they are humans, not machines. I like to call it a toxic growth mindset. A healthy growth mindset focuses on fostering care for your own body’s needs to give back to others. Once again, re-iterating the initial point, you cannot give what you do not have.
Stay humble.
Books of Reference (these are the resources I used to formulate this blogpost):
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed
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